myAdvice

After my mom passed away, an older (I say that because he was my parents' age) friend/co-worker I had at the time shared his best piece of comfort and advice. Bill S. said:

The best way to keep a person close after you lose them is to keep their memory alive by carrying on something you admire about them. Then when people compliment you for the action or trait or anything...you can know and share how you learned it.

I often think of this when I miss a loved one. Since her death, I catch myself doing little things, and sometimes bigger things, that she would have done, would have wanted to do, or always did. For instance, she was very open with people about how she loved them. I have shared my appreciation to many of whom I may never have expressed openly to before. Also, my mom would just laugh...people knew her laugh. I hear my mom in my laugh sometimes...and so do others. She loved to see the positive in everyday life, to love her family and the Lord, and enjoy small things like the "V" of flying geese, horses feeding, or a colorful sunset. It is a wonderful feeling to have someone comment on something I did or do and to be able to reply "thanks, my mom used to do that too." :)

I've applied this piece of advice after a few other loved ones passed. From my Grandpa G., I took his kind, "how do you do?" sense about him that made even strangers feel special. I try to remember to smile more often because he loved my smiles...he loved smiling. From my grandmother in-law, Ginger, I admire her tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. She handled life with so much grace and femininity, as well as strength and faith...I am trying to carry these on.

What do you remember and admire about a loved one who you lost? Is it something you can take as your own as a way to honor their life? What will you want for someone someday to admire and remember about you that they might take with them after you are gone?